i hope you prove me wrong...

i came to colorado thinking it would make my life okay.  that everything would just fall into place perfectly and i would be surrounded in happiness.  and for the first few months, i was right. everything was falling just how i'd wanted it.  nothing out of place. 

and then suddenly.  thread by thread, it unravels.  reality is setting in.  life cannot always be perfect. 

and i want to scream a little.
why can't it go right?
it all seemed so clandestined.
so perfect.
i had started painting a picture,
with more optimism than in the past.
and i want to keep the image,
without it fading to grey.
but frustration,
and disbelief crowd my thoughts.

a test it may be.
of my patience.
of my optimistic endurance.

today i will allow myself to wallow.
but tomorrow,
tomorrow i start new. 
this isn't the end of the road.
only a few speed bumps along the way.



i cherish my people :)  who have reassured me of my unique place in this world.  who have stood beside me and made my life so worth living.  who have loved me in the hardest of times.  i am blessed in so many ways.  life will not always be perfect.  things will not always go my way.  but it is these set backs and disappointments that are growing me.  i'm learning, daily, what it means to be me.  on my own.  and when i really think about it.  i love, love, love that.  disappointments aside i am one lucky girl.  and now, after that rant, i can't help but smile.

thank you for listening.  i feel much better....

always,
amanda

what do you love?

I ♥ my Chacos
I ♥ chocolate milk.
I ♥ my sisters and brother.
I ♥ 'my boys' dave, matt, rob, andy, raphael and jon.
I ♥ my god-dog, penny lane. and her sister layle mae.
I ♥ tv shows on dvd.
I ♥ big comfy beds.
I ♥ cheese of all kinds.
I ♥ the mountains!
I ♥ hiking said mountains :)
I ♥ to read.
I ♥ driving with the windows down and the music up.
I ♥ being barefoot.
I ♥ john krasinski.
I ♥ kickball!
I ♥ singing in the shower.
I ♥ live music.  preferrably outdoors!
I ♥ doing laundry.
I ♥ the sun.
I ♥ wearing skirts and high heels.  but t-shirts and jeans just the same :)
I ♥ a good beer.

there you go. i few things i LOVE :) 

always,
amanda

taking the time to fly

I remember hearing this song for the first time my senior year of high school. I was on a church trip to chicago with my senior class and i immediately connected with the song. I literally played it over and over for the next year or so until it became a song i knew by heart. I've lost touch with the song for quite a few years now, but tonight, while i was in the shower, it came on the radio. And my heart started to beat faster, the tune started humming in my throat and soon i was belting every single word like i was back in high school. It was freeing, it was fun, it was being 17 again. This truly is my song. I know that i was always 'born to fly.' I've never been able to sit still for very long. I don't like to be patient and wait things out. I like action. I like adventure.
I spread my wings a few short months ago and they took me to Colorado. Where will my wings take me next? Who knows, but i'm ready to fly :) Really though, how do you keep you feet on the ground, when you were born to fly???


Born to Fly Sara Evans
I've been telling my dreams to the scarecrow
About the places that I'd like to see
I say, 'friend do you think I'll ever get there?'
Oh, but he just stands there smilin' back at me
So I confessed my sins to the preacher
About the love I've been prayin' to find
Is there a brown-eyed boy in my future, yeah
And he says, 'girl, you've got nothin' but time.'

But how do you wait for heaven?
And who has that much time?
And how do you keep your feet on the ground
When you know that you were born,
You were born to fly

My daddy he is grounded like the oak tree
My momma she is steady as the sun
Oh, you know I love my folks
But I keep starin' down the road
Just lookin' for my one chance to run
Hey, cause I will soar away like a blackbird
I will blow in the wind like a seed
I will plant my heart in the garden of my dreams
And I will grow up where I wander wild and free

Oh, How do you wait for heaven?
And who has that much time?
And how do you keep your feet on the ground
When you know, that you were born?
You were born, yeah, you were born to fly



Here's to soaring :)

always,
amanda