currently i love my life. i am surrounded (literally and figuratively) by an amazing group of people i am blessed to call my friends and family. i am living in one of the most beautiful places in the country. i have a job i enjoy, where i get to work with a great group of people. i am daily thankful for the little things that make my life great.
in the past i'd always lived in the 'long' term. oh sure, there were days when i made quick decisions that changed the course of my life in big or small ways. but mostly i had an overall mental plan and it was in years. now? i'm living on much shorter terms. and i love it. i'm enjoying life for this moment in time. my entire world may change in a year, (heck, a year ago i'd never thought i'd be living in colorado) in a month, in a week. to me, it's exciting. i don't know what tomorrow holds. next year i may be living in bolivia or fiji or kansas. but you'd better believe that i'm going to enjoy every moment of whatever comes. i realize not every day will be great. in fact, i'm sure there will be days of struggle. but i also know that i will come out of those days a better, stronger person. wonderful :) here's to a year of appreciation, love, and JOY :) wherever, whenever, whatever happens.
right now, in this moment...i'm happy.
always,
amanda
Monday, February 8, 2010
Sunday, January 31, 2010
this beer's for you...
I have to admit, the first time i tasted beer, i was mortified. This was what all these kids around me were ingesting for a good time?! No thank you! You can keep your keystone light friend. i'll take a diet coke. Over the many years since then, my palate slowly developed to a point where i could 'tolerate' beer. Mostly the light beers that really tasted bland and watery. (Fun fact: Did you know that the main ingredient in beer is water? now you know...) And when it was required of me to drink said beers, it was usually in situations that involved red cups and ping pong balls, and i'd take large gulps and swallow fast in order that the beer was in my mouth for the shortest amount of time possible.
Then my world was shaken just a little bit when i was introduced to the microbrew. I tasted 'dinkey wheat' at old main and admitted that the flavors definitely brought a new dimension to my world of beer, but it still wasn't going to become my drink of choice. I'll have a malibu and diet, thanks.
THEN I MOVED TO COLORADO. Where i walked into a whole new ballgame. You see, here in Fort Collins we have not one, not three, but SIX breweries. So people here are self-proclaimed beer snobs. I had some catching up to do! My first flavorful taste was a Two Below from New Belgium Brewing. It hit me. There's something different about this stuff. Next up were some ODell's beers; Isolation Ale, Cutthroat Porter, Easy Street. Then Coopersmiths Poudre Pale Ale and Horsetooth Stout. Each new beer i've tasted has heightened my growing admiration for beer. Of course, I've now developed favorites, but i've opened this awesome can of worms and am looking forward to many future samplings of great, great beers.
I also took a journey back to my early beer days when i recently toured the Coors Brewery in Golden, CO. P and I were the last ones in the door for the day and proceeded into 45 minutes of listening about the beer brewing process from a little hand-held machine. It was semi-awkward standing in a room with about 20 strangers, all listening to the same words from the same man (and woman who would periodically just whisper 'Coors' inbetween his words). You were pretty much silent the whole time, just watching other peoples reactions and reading about the brewing process. I think P and I had the most fun as every once and a while when the music started to build (near the fresh beer room!) or when the guy got really excited, we'd have our own little reaction of feigned excitement. All in all it was FUN :) I learned a lot about the process and more random little trivia about the coors brand. But the best part was the samples! The Coors Light really did taste so much better and colder. We established that this may have been because they kept subliminally building our excitement for that cold beer at the end of the tour but it could be that beer just tastes better at the brewery. (whether or not it's just in your head)
Now I get to look forward to the New Belguim tour again with the little sis in a few weeks!
But right now i think i'll go have a nice cold Isolation...mmmm :)
always,
amanda
Then my world was shaken just a little bit when i was introduced to the microbrew. I tasted 'dinkey wheat' at old main and admitted that the flavors definitely brought a new dimension to my world of beer, but it still wasn't going to become my drink of choice. I'll have a malibu and diet, thanks.
THEN I MOVED TO COLORADO. Where i walked into a whole new ballgame. You see, here in Fort Collins we have not one, not three, but SIX breweries. So people here are self-proclaimed beer snobs. I had some catching up to do! My first flavorful taste was a Two Below from New Belgium Brewing. It hit me. There's something different about this stuff. Next up were some ODell's beers; Isolation Ale, Cutthroat Porter, Easy Street. Then Coopersmiths Poudre Pale Ale and Horsetooth Stout. Each new beer i've tasted has heightened my growing admiration for beer. Of course, I've now developed favorites, but i've opened this awesome can of worms and am looking forward to many future samplings of great, great beers.
I also took a journey back to my early beer days when i recently toured the Coors Brewery in Golden, CO. P and I were the last ones in the door for the day and proceeded into 45 minutes of listening about the beer brewing process from a little hand-held machine. It was semi-awkward standing in a room with about 20 strangers, all listening to the same words from the same man (and woman who would periodically just whisper 'Coors' inbetween his words). You were pretty much silent the whole time, just watching other peoples reactions and reading about the brewing process. I think P and I had the most fun as every once and a while when the music started to build (near the fresh beer room!) or when the guy got really excited, we'd have our own little reaction of feigned excitement. All in all it was FUN :) I learned a lot about the process and more random little trivia about the coors brand. But the best part was the samples! The Coors Light really did taste so much better and colder. We established that this may have been because they kept subliminally building our excitement for that cold beer at the end of the tour but it could be that beer just tastes better at the brewery. (whether or not it's just in your head)
Now I get to look forward to the New Belguim tour again with the little sis in a few weeks!
But right now i think i'll go have a nice cold Isolation...mmmm :)
always,
amanda
Friday, January 29, 2010
a moment that moved me...
I've been quite lax in my blogging as of late and it seems that every time I do, I am apologizing for not doing so more often. But that will not happen today. I will not apologize for not setting aside time to blog, because I wouldn't trade a second of the many things I've experienced instead of blogging for anything. Maybe someday I'll retro-post and tell you about all those wonderful things, but for now I've got more important things to share.
If you know me well, you know that one of my passions in life is 'words.' Many have informed me that this is too vague a passion, but I cannot narrow it to one certain aspect of 'words' without leaving behind other parts. So I stand strong on my vague passion. It's mine. Find your own...
I'm also a little bit in love. It's only been a few months but i've never been happier or felt more myself. That's right, the great state of Colorado has stolen my heart, and I hope the honeymoon phase never ends.
Love. The reason i began this blog way back when. To explore the vast, exciting, overwhleming, diverse world of love. Where I will always be an amateur. But always game for exploring :) I've looked back lately at my early posts and can only smile. Ah, the things you learn through the years...
To bring this all back to why I was originally posting, it's a combination of love and words. And a little about my love for words. A few days ago, my roommate purchased the most recent Avett Brothers album, which he confessed he had not been able stop listening to. As I pushed play, I was curious. Was this going to be life changing? At first I was unsure. Track #1 seemed lethargic with the first few strains and didn't catch my ear immediately. But then I looked down and saw what I thought was the 'thanks' portion of the album cover. I love to read this stuff so i grabbed it and cuddled up on the couch, the melody perking my ears more and more as the song went on. In mere moments I was enthralled by the passage written. It was not of thanks, but of love. And I was floored. By words. By truths. By the way it made my heart twinge and rejoice simultaneously. And this is what I share with you today. Not my words. Words from another. That left me amazed and intrigued. Mull over the words, savor them, enjoy them, love them. Just soak them up. And don't forget to breathe a few times in the middle. (i kinda forgot that part) There is one spot in the middle i left out (marked by [---------]) which they go on to describe the making of the album but in order to get that full experience I urge you to actually purchase the album for yourself. The impact is even better with the music :) So here goes...Enjoy!
The words 'I' and 'Love' and 'You' are the watermark of humanity. Strung together they convey our deepest sense of humility; of power, of truth. It is our most common sentiment, even as the feeling of it is so infinitely uncommon; each to proclaim these three words with his or her very own heart and midset of reason (or lack thereof); a proclamation completely and perfectly new each time it is offered. Uttered daily and nightly by millions, the words are said in an unending array of circumstances; whispered to the newborn in the arms of a new mother; shared between best friends on the playground; in the form of sympathy said by a girl to a boy as the respect continues, but the realtionship does not. It is said too loudly by parents to embarassed children in the company of their friends and by grown children - to their fading parents in hospital beds. The words are thought in the company of the photograph and said in the company of the gravestone. It is how we end our phone calls and our letters...the words at the bottom of the page that trump all of those above it, a way to gracefully finish a message, however important or trivial, with the most meaningful gift of all: the communication of love. And yet the words themselves have been the victims of triviality, a ready replacement for lesser situations among near strangers, burst forth casually as 'love ya.' Truly? To what degree? Why, how much, and for how long? These are questions befitting the stature of love, though not the everyday banter of vague aquaintance. The words have also been twisted by the dark nature of deciet; to say 'I love you' with a dramatic measure of synthetic emotion; a snare set by those who prey upon humanity, driven to whatever selfish end, to gain access to another's body, or their money, or their opportunity. In this realm the proclamation is disgraced by one seeking to gain rather than to give. In any case, and by whatever inspiration, these words are woven deeply into the fibers of our existence. Our longing to hear them from the right place is maddeningly and simultaneously our finest strength and our most gentle weakness. [--------] Perhaps the inability to say these heaviest of words is as much a part of life as the lighthearted candor of those who say them without any dificulty at all. And so it ends with the phrase whispered to and by those of us most defeated and most elated...I and Love and You.
I kind of feel it should end with and 'Amen.' So be it...
We may not all be in love. But love is in us all. For people, for a state :), for the world, for nature. Take a deep breath and remember what you love and who loves you.
Have a great day all. Full of love, real love :)
always,
amanda
If you know me well, you know that one of my passions in life is 'words.' Many have informed me that this is too vague a passion, but I cannot narrow it to one certain aspect of 'words' without leaving behind other parts. So I stand strong on my vague passion. It's mine. Find your own...
I'm also a little bit in love. It's only been a few months but i've never been happier or felt more myself. That's right, the great state of Colorado has stolen my heart, and I hope the honeymoon phase never ends.
Love. The reason i began this blog way back when. To explore the vast, exciting, overwhleming, diverse world of love. Where I will always be an amateur. But always game for exploring :) I've looked back lately at my early posts and can only smile. Ah, the things you learn through the years...
To bring this all back to why I was originally posting, it's a combination of love and words. And a little about my love for words. A few days ago, my roommate purchased the most recent Avett Brothers album, which he confessed he had not been able stop listening to. As I pushed play, I was curious. Was this going to be life changing? At first I was unsure. Track #1 seemed lethargic with the first few strains and didn't catch my ear immediately. But then I looked down and saw what I thought was the 'thanks' portion of the album cover. I love to read this stuff so i grabbed it and cuddled up on the couch, the melody perking my ears more and more as the song went on. In mere moments I was enthralled by the passage written. It was not of thanks, but of love. And I was floored. By words. By truths. By the way it made my heart twinge and rejoice simultaneously. And this is what I share with you today. Not my words. Words from another. That left me amazed and intrigued. Mull over the words, savor them, enjoy them, love them. Just soak them up. And don't forget to breathe a few times in the middle. (i kinda forgot that part) There is one spot in the middle i left out (marked by [---------]) which they go on to describe the making of the album but in order to get that full experience I urge you to actually purchase the album for yourself. The impact is even better with the music :) So here goes...Enjoy!
The words 'I' and 'Love' and 'You' are the watermark of humanity. Strung together they convey our deepest sense of humility; of power, of truth. It is our most common sentiment, even as the feeling of it is so infinitely uncommon; each to proclaim these three words with his or her very own heart and midset of reason (or lack thereof); a proclamation completely and perfectly new each time it is offered. Uttered daily and nightly by millions, the words are said in an unending array of circumstances; whispered to the newborn in the arms of a new mother; shared between best friends on the playground; in the form of sympathy said by a girl to a boy as the respect continues, but the realtionship does not. It is said too loudly by parents to embarassed children in the company of their friends and by grown children - to their fading parents in hospital beds. The words are thought in the company of the photograph and said in the company of the gravestone. It is how we end our phone calls and our letters...the words at the bottom of the page that trump all of those above it, a way to gracefully finish a message, however important or trivial, with the most meaningful gift of all: the communication of love. And yet the words themselves have been the victims of triviality, a ready replacement for lesser situations among near strangers, burst forth casually as 'love ya.' Truly? To what degree? Why, how much, and for how long? These are questions befitting the stature of love, though not the everyday banter of vague aquaintance. The words have also been twisted by the dark nature of deciet; to say 'I love you' with a dramatic measure of synthetic emotion; a snare set by those who prey upon humanity, driven to whatever selfish end, to gain access to another's body, or their money, or their opportunity. In this realm the proclamation is disgraced by one seeking to gain rather than to give. In any case, and by whatever inspiration, these words are woven deeply into the fibers of our existence. Our longing to hear them from the right place is maddeningly and simultaneously our finest strength and our most gentle weakness. [--------] Perhaps the inability to say these heaviest of words is as much a part of life as the lighthearted candor of those who say them without any dificulty at all. And so it ends with the phrase whispered to and by those of us most defeated and most elated...I and Love and You.
I kind of feel it should end with and 'Amen.' So be it...
We may not all be in love. But love is in us all. For people, for a state :), for the world, for nature. Take a deep breath and remember what you love and who loves you.
Have a great day all. Full of love, real love :)
always,
amanda
Friday, October 30, 2009
FC 365 (1-5)
I've travelled many miles. But my life has come so much further than that! It's been 5 official days of living here in The Fort and so far...i'm loving it! Every minute to be exact :) I've had many friends and family making requests for me to keep up on my blog so they can keep up with me so here goes! I wanted to do something a little different than just writing about my life here. So I'm going to start FC 365. I'm going to take a picture of everyday i am here so y'all can see my life rather than just read it! so here goes:)
Day Two: Meet Layla and Penny Lane. No, I did not move to Colorado and immediately get two dogs:) They are my roommates (and amazing friends) K and K's dogs. I've never lived with big dogs before and I'm loving it:) I've taken them both on walks (working towards running but i've got to get used to the altitude!) and played around the house with them when not searching for the right job for me:) They are so much fun and give so much love! Don't be surprised if after i find my own place, a dog soon follows.
Day Three: SNOW, SNOW, SNOW! I'm thinking i brought the snow with me but I really don't mind for now! We got around 17 inches between Tuesday night, Wednesday and Thursday. The dogs love it, i got to dig my car out, and then drive up the mountain into more snow! It's amazing how snow can make everything more beautiful. This picture is looking out our front porch on Wednesday afternoon. So this wasn't even all the snow!! Love it:)
Day Four: I survived the drive up to Estes! It was a beautiful, windy, slow, fun ride! I wasn't sure that i'd even make it up to my interview with the hotel but thankfully the roads were very clear. The interview went really well:) It would definitely be a change and a challenge for me if given the opportunity! I won't know for a few weeks so for now I'm still handing out resumes otherwise. I've also gotten really good at taking pictures while driving...probably not so safe but i've gotten some good ones! We also made homemade pizza and had girls night that night. Both were sooo good:) Still a little angry that Gordanna didn't get kicked off though....
Day One! I did a lot of exploring of the town. This pic was taken while I was at the Colorado welcome center getting maps. I still haven't gotten used to the view of the west. On of my greatest hopes is that I never take living this close to the beauty that is the mountains for granted. As you will see most of my first pics are of the mountains:) I still have to remember to take my camera with me some occasions.
Day Two: Meet Layla and Penny Lane. No, I did not move to Colorado and immediately get two dogs:) They are my roommates (and amazing friends) K and K's dogs. I've never lived with big dogs before and I'm loving it:) I've taken them both on walks (working towards running but i've got to get used to the altitude!) and played around the house with them when not searching for the right job for me:) They are so much fun and give so much love! Don't be surprised if after i find my own place, a dog soon follows.
Day Three: SNOW, SNOW, SNOW! I'm thinking i brought the snow with me but I really don't mind for now! We got around 17 inches between Tuesday night, Wednesday and Thursday. The dogs love it, i got to dig my car out, and then drive up the mountain into more snow! It's amazing how snow can make everything more beautiful. This picture is looking out our front porch on Wednesday afternoon. So this wasn't even all the snow!! Love it:)Day Four: I survived the drive up to Estes! It was a beautiful, windy, slow, fun ride! I wasn't sure that i'd even make it up to my interview with the hotel but thankfully the roads were very clear. The interview went really well:) It would definitely be a change and a challenge for me if given the opportunity! I won't know for a few weeks so for now I'm still handing out resumes otherwise. I've also gotten really good at taking pictures while driving...probably not so safe but i've gotten some good ones! We also made homemade pizza and had girls night that night. Both were sooo good:) Still a little angry that Gordanna didn't get kicked off though....
Day Five: I drove K to the DIA to make her flight to the deep south, and on the way home shot this one. If you look close you can see the storm brewing in the mountains. which means more snow up there, which means it's time to break out the snowboarding gear! What? I don't have any snowboarding gear? Ah, yes. This girl has been cooped up in flat old Iowa for too many years! Don't worry. Very soon I will change my 'very amateur' snowboarding status! And my do those mountains look good!! So there you go. My first installment of FC 365. I hope to be back soon with more wonderful stories of my amazing life out here in the Rockies! And I promise to post some pictures with me actually in them at some point too:)
always,
amanda
Sunday, October 18, 2009
all my bags are packed...
four days separate
now from new
my stomach turns
with excitement
with a twinge of fear
of unknown
but mostly
i can taste the freedom
i'm ready
for the biggest adventure
this girl has ever seen
leaving behind
a city i've loved
people i'll miss
terribly...
a life that i won't
new experiences
mountains
fresh air
natural beauty
this is it
i want to get in now
and drive to there
but patience
is a virute
reinvention
finding me
the whole
all natural
through and through
me
and rediscovering
truth
of what i deserve
of what i desire
of what it means
to be me
for me
sounds selfish
maybe that's
exactly necessary
to no longer find
validation
in what you think
i am me
the only me i can be
and that's okay
no apologies
i may fail
i may succeed
either way
i'm on my way
on my way
and i can't stop smiling...
now from new
my stomach turns
with excitement
with a twinge of fear
of unknown
but mostly
i can taste the freedom
i'm ready
for the biggest adventure
this girl has ever seen
leaving behind
a city i've loved
people i'll miss
terribly...
a life that i won't
new experiences
mountains
fresh air
natural beauty
this is it
i want to get in now
and drive to there
but patience
is a virute
reinvention
finding me
the whole
all natural
through and through
me
and rediscovering
truth
of what i deserve
of what i desire
of what it means
to be me
for me
sounds selfish
maybe that's
exactly necessary
to no longer find
validation
in what you think
i am me
the only me i can be
and that's okay
no apologies
i may fail
i may succeed
either way
i'm on my way
on my way
and i can't stop smiling...
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
my playlist...
so i'm totally stealing this from one of my best friends ever but she'll understand!! :):) or at least i hope so...
i've said it thousands of times that music is my life. i can barely go ten minutes without having some type of music going. so i have decided to compile a list of some of the songs i'm currently loving. just in case you need some new music to jam to. or maybe you're just wondering what song i have in my head today. whatever the case... here is my list:)
1- You, the Night, & Candlelight - Dave Barnes one of my top ten favorite artists in general, one of his newer songs
2- Longer I Run - Peter Bradley Adams see also Lay Your Head Down and Queen of Hearts
3- Streetlights - Ludo
4- Too Late for That - A. Rex
5- You Are the Best Thing - Ray Lamontange just fun :)
6- You and I - Ingrid Michaelson she is abosultely wonderful...
7- Chin Up - Copeland
8- Morning Sun - Kelley Stoltz
9- Closer Than You Think - Fiction Family see also When She's Near and Out of Order...new favorite band :)
10- Never Going Back to OK - The Afters
11- Time to Pretend - MGMT you've probably heard this one but i just like it :)
12- Naked as We Came - Iron & Wine see also Love And Some Verses
I'll leave you with that:) just a small window into my musical mind... Enjoy!
i've said it thousands of times that music is my life. i can barely go ten minutes without having some type of music going. so i have decided to compile a list of some of the songs i'm currently loving. just in case you need some new music to jam to. or maybe you're just wondering what song i have in my head today. whatever the case... here is my list:)
1- You, the Night, & Candlelight - Dave Barnes one of my top ten favorite artists in general, one of his newer songs
2- Longer I Run - Peter Bradley Adams see also Lay Your Head Down and Queen of Hearts
3- Streetlights - Ludo
4- Too Late for That - A. Rex
5- You Are the Best Thing - Ray Lamontange just fun :)
6- You and I - Ingrid Michaelson she is abosultely wonderful...
7- Chin Up - Copeland
8- Morning Sun - Kelley Stoltz
9- Closer Than You Think - Fiction Family see also When She's Near and Out of Order...new favorite band :)
10- Never Going Back to OK - The Afters
11- Time to Pretend - MGMT you've probably heard this one but i just like it :)
12- Naked as We Came - Iron & Wine see also Love And Some Verses
I'll leave you with that:) just a small window into my musical mind... Enjoy!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
my life isn't interesting. no one would ever want to record it for reality t.v. i will never have a plethera of blog followers. i will never write a bestselling book. my words may never be seen by more than a handful of people.
does that make me less signifcant? I don't have profound statements. I don't have stories of great love. or of terrible heartbreak. (okay i do but i don't think blog world wants to hear me whine about a story that's two years old) or of my small child who has done something new today.
i do have a few stories about random events of my day. plunging a toilet in fact. what an awesome way to start out a night of work. but who wants to hear that story? no one. and honestly i really don't want to tell it. it was gross and embarassing (for the guest and myself) and so not worth re-telling.
i read blogs like www.mattlogelin.com and i want to curl up in a ball and just cry. it makes me not want to fall in love...for fear of losing it. but i look at a guy like matt. so real. so forthcoming. and a little part of me is jealous. what?!?! jealous of a widower left to raise a beautiful daughter all on his own? a man who has struggled everyday of the past year to begin life again with out the love of his life, the mother of his absolutely beautiful daughter. yes, i am selfishly jealous of him. that he found the true love of his life. that he spent 12 beautiful and blissful years with her. That he is the father to this absolutely beautiful daughter. that his daily blog is read by millions daily. I'm jealous of all these small things but grossly I am jealous of his making a difference. His words have affforded comfort to many in a similar situation. and has shed light for those who may not fully be able to comprehend the situation and what it brings. His life has made a difference. He can make me cry. He can make me laugh. all through words on a screen.
and then i turn around and look at myself. what have i done?!
i think i'm just meant to be a worker bee in this hive they call earth. I'll always be an extra. never the main character. now i just have to come to terms with that...
does that make me less signifcant? I don't have profound statements. I don't have stories of great love. or of terrible heartbreak. (okay i do but i don't think blog world wants to hear me whine about a story that's two years old) or of my small child who has done something new today.
i do have a few stories about random events of my day. plunging a toilet in fact. what an awesome way to start out a night of work. but who wants to hear that story? no one. and honestly i really don't want to tell it. it was gross and embarassing (for the guest and myself) and so not worth re-telling.
i read blogs like www.mattlogelin.com and i want to curl up in a ball and just cry. it makes me not want to fall in love...for fear of losing it. but i look at a guy like matt. so real. so forthcoming. and a little part of me is jealous. what?!?! jealous of a widower left to raise a beautiful daughter all on his own? a man who has struggled everyday of the past year to begin life again with out the love of his life, the mother of his absolutely beautiful daughter. yes, i am selfishly jealous of him. that he found the true love of his life. that he spent 12 beautiful and blissful years with her. That he is the father to this absolutely beautiful daughter. that his daily blog is read by millions daily. I'm jealous of all these small things but grossly I am jealous of his making a difference. His words have affforded comfort to many in a similar situation. and has shed light for those who may not fully be able to comprehend the situation and what it brings. His life has made a difference. He can make me cry. He can make me laugh. all through words on a screen.
and then i turn around and look at myself. what have i done?!
i think i'm just meant to be a worker bee in this hive they call earth. I'll always be an extra. never the main character. now i just have to come to terms with that...
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